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Dexter finale: as Deb Morgan might say, ‘shit a brick, Sweet Mary mother of f**k that was bad!’

Dexter Season 8

Okay, the whole of Dexter season 8 was bad, but the finale (Remember the Monsters?) was quite something else. It’s almost as if the writers were actively attempting to serve up the worst conclusion to a long running series EVER. Of course, if they were… well, kudos  to them because I’ve not felt so cheated of an ending since Lost and that kind of marked the bar high.

I mean, you really could argue the whole season was terrible, that Vogel quickly became less intriguing and more grating, her son appeared as a pale imitation of a psycho (arriving as a convenient antagonist to Dexter opposed to actually being of interest) and yet as bad as season 8 was, the ending… well, it totally sucked balls.

Of course, I’m a little behind the curve (wrong side of the pond) because apparently fans have been ranting (carrying out a thorough post-mortem) about Dexter sucking balls since Sunday. That’s two days of ball sucking I’ve missed out on. But here’s what one of the producers (Sara Colleton) had to say in defence of the lips on testicle atrocity:

“He banishes himself, if you will, into exile. When he looks into the camera in the end [of the finale], the rest is silence; there’s not even a voiceover there anymore. It’s just emptiness… Committing suicide is too easy; that’s letting himself off the hook.”

Clever BS for sure, but this isn’t what you brought to the screen, Sara. If the above is what you wished to communicate (and not just cynical posturing) you needed to make the scene far longer… a minute, two minutes or even three of Dexter just on his own would’ve had some impact. It might’ve got viewers thinking about the points you tenuously make. But no, this just felt rushed, it felt misdirected. It felt like a brazen producer (not a writer) ticking a list: show an unnecessary and gawdawful shot of Hannah and Harrison getting ice cream: check. Batista getting a phone call: check. Dexter logging? WTF? Quick we’ve only got thirty seconds to show a scene that needs to be five times as long to work, oh fuck it… check!

Anyway, even if the scene above had been twenty minutes long the overall episode would’ve been appalling, and yet don’t get me wrong because I’d always recommend people watching Dexter, but… but maybe stop at season 7 and make up your own damn ending. Certainly, I’m going to picture Deb and Dexter wandering about that fairground on New Year’s Eve and pretend season 8 ended up on Dexter’s table to be sliced up and dumped in the Pacific – where it undoubtedly belongs!

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Ramblings of Tom Conrad.

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2 Responses to Dexter finale: as Deb Morgan might say, ‘shit a brick, Sweet Mary mother of f**k that was bad!’

  1. I totally wish I could have seen this season…and last for that matter. I guess being killed himself, or worse, gone to jail would have been what everyone would have expected…not the untimely death of Deb, and Dexter carrying her off onto his boat to supposedly meet his end too. Oh, maybe one day I’ll get to see the last two seasons….anyone want to send me some CD’s, that would be magnificent!!!

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